Khianat

Sedih ketika mengetahui orang yang paling Anda anggap dekat mengkhianati Anda dari belakang. Cerita-cerita, guyonan dan senyum tawa hanyalah sebuah sandiwara untuk menusuk Anda. Kesal, sedih, muak, marah, geram bercampur menjadi satu karena khianat itu datang dari orang yang Anda anggap sahabat. Terlebih apabila sang "sahabat" mengajak "teman lainnya" untuk membenci Anda. 

“Orang itu mengacungkan tangannya kepada mereka yang hidup damai dengan dia, janjinya dilanggarnya; mulutnya lebih licin dari mentega, tetapi ia berniat menyerang; perkataannya lebih lembut dari minyak, tetapi semuanya adalah pedang terhunus.” (Mazmur 53: 21-22). Ayat ini benar-benar menggambarkan apa yang saya rasakan. 

Sakit sekali. Tapi, Tuhan itu baik dan tidak pernah meninggalkan Anda. Dia memberikan sejuta alasan untuk Anda tetap tersenyum meskipun dalam luapan sakit hati. Di sini Tuhan memperlihatkan pada saya siapa orang yang pantas menjadi sahabat saya. Terlebih, Tuhan memberikan saya sahabat-sahabat lainnya yang dulu bahkan tidak pernah terpikirkan. Saat ini saya masih harus belajar mengampuni dia yang menyakiti saya. Saya terus berdoa agar hati saya dipulihkan dan dikuatkan untuk terus bersabar agar kepahitan itu keluar dari dalam diri saya dan damai sejahtera Allah terus melingkupi saya setiap waktu, sehingga tak ada satu detikpun dari hidup saya terbuang untuk memikirkan kejahatannya. Dan saya berdoa pada Yang Kuasa, agar Tuhan segera melembutkan hatinya karena sebenarnya dia tidak tahu apa yang sedang dia perbuat.

Forgive and forget, Tuhan, berikanlah itu padaku.

Life lately

After read my previous blog, I realized how much my life has changed. 

Thank God, I had time to spend with my family in Australia for almost a month. We visited Melbourne and Sydney and, it was such a great experience and promise to myself will back soon with my own family. Not takes a long time, I was accepted working in one of hospitality management office, located in Sudirman, Jakarta, as Corporate HR, a field that I have beem dreaming of for so long. Well, every position has its own risks, and as the one and only staff in HR department, I have to struggle with all responsibilities, and it is fine. After two months working, I met my soulmate in Young Christian Fellowship and decided to marry in 2015. And now I am officialy a married woman! :D 

I am blessed for how God loves me unconditionally and far and beyond my expectation.

 

I'm back!

Hi there!
After months, finally I'm back to the blog world.. yeayyy ^^

It's been a while and I'm not who I was before. I'm changing.
Though life sometimes aint fair to me, but at least I can be a better person day by day.
Hopefully from now on I can share many things with you regularly.

Cheers
<3

Treasures Woman's Conference 2013

UNSHAKEABLE

It was coincidentally happened to me, with God's grace, that I attended church at JPCC and saw the advertisement about this event that held just for women. Being unshakable women, the tagline, really make me curious about what they offered to the women in this world full of uncertainty. And finally I decided to join this two-days event on September 5-6, 2013.

Day one was filled with great priests from Australia and USA. They are Jules A'Belle and Lisa Bevere! What a blissful preach they gave. I learned to be strong as lioness but soft-hearted in the same time. Besides, I took single-hood class that gave me different point of view of being single and how to fill this worth-the-wait moments.

I learned to stand still in the storm in day two. Without difficulties, life will never filled with victory. Don't be afraid 'cause God is with you all the time. The next session was self-grooming that brought by Mia Rajagukguk. How she presented about being fearless and fabulous really blew me away. She told us that God never see our look, instead He sees our heart. She also changed the way I see myself, to be beautiful inside out; It means being balance, being self confident without pride, being well-groomed without being obsessed without our looks and being content without being greedy.

I am blessed indeed to be here, as a part of unshakable women. 

Have faith and do not fear because God has plans for you beyond your wildest dream!     

Thesis Defense!

Yeay!

I thank God for officially earned master of management, specifically in Human Resource field, the major that I never dreamed about and I really fall in love with it. 

Thank God for giving me such a great experience here. All the tears and hard work now are paid off. Thank you for my family and friends who always support me no matter what happened. When you do your best and you really try, the results are excellent and you are the living proof of that.

Welcome freedom! Welcome bittersweet life :)

Thesis, how dare you!

I'm a bit overwhelmed of doing thesis. How dare you stealing my peaceful moments! Sigh. Please, help! =.=

Lady in waiting

                                           

In the middle of my little time of finishing my thesis, I read a book from my friend titled 'Lady in Waiting: becoming God's best while waiting for Mr. Right' which gives me a new point of view of being single. Instead of constanly searching for the right man, I have to prepare myself to be the right woman while waiting. We are reminded to be God's best by studying the Biblical character, Ruth. I learnt how to become a lady of purity, faith, contentment, patience, and more as I pursue a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus. 

Women nowadays are getting worried to find their Mr. Right and tending to lower their standards just because of loneliness and age problems. They tend to be insecure, underestimate, and not respect theirselves and it seems they praise the men more than they should praise God. That men become the center of their life! With their expectations that the men will fulfill their happiness and hunger of love and their thoughts that marriage is the answer that life would be like fairy tale, full of flowers and love words everyday, that is exactly the root of heartache starts grow. Why? Because we can not depend our happines on someone or something! Otherwise, It is better to take refuge in The Lord than to trust in humans (Psalms 118:8).

In this book, I learn to be the best for God with developing myself to become 'His bride': not too hurry to be in vain relationship, not wasting my time wishing for a dream man, using my single time wisely, not prioritizing my self-interest, serving others while patiently waiting for the right one, improving the quality of myself, and finally seeking and choosing Boas' characteristics (to put the needs of others above his own needs, to be delighted in the relationship with Christ, to maintain  good relationship with others,  to not leaped ahead of God's timing, defend the right, to accomplish all the responsibles that God gave toward him, to understand the importance of affections and emotions and to not compromise with the bads) when looking for a life partner and not only seeking him merely from the physic, money or the outwards. "The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7b).

I consciously know that the consequences of being not to be patience in waiting are devastation of your future life and family, e.g get divorce eventually, there is no longer emotions between each other though they life in the same roof, some will ruin their children's future, loneliness and burdens that will hurt you so bad till you can't breath. Note this, you will not only marry a husband but you will also choose a father for your children!!

It's not easy, I know it, to give all things to God, to give control to Him toward our life when we sometimes tempted to step forward while God still says wait. You have to surrender and have faith that He will give all things in the right time. But, I believe it will be worth-waiting eventually. This book is very suggested to those who are longing for being loved sincerely and finally, l discover that only a relationship with Heavenly Bridgegroom will satisfy!